Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Almost everyone who reads this would know already know that my mom passed away on Sunday. So here I sit, trying to sort through the tangle of emotions. I love my mom so much. She is an example of the greatest strength and testimony. She was always so strong and caring and always wanted to help everyone in any way she could up till the end. She could even have that sense of humor she was known for even through the hardest times. I could barley get through a couple minutes talking with her without her laughing so hard she was crying. I always felt special around her like that... like I'm actually funny. :) She was full of interesting advice but as I have gotten older, I have realized the truthfulness of some of the things she used to tell me. One thing she told me was that when you get angry, you only see red. Her words come to mind all the time and have become so much a part of me, I don't remember at the time that they came from her. During some of my hardest times she was my best friend. When I'd come home crying from school every other day in third grade, she would listen to me and talk with me for hours as I laid next to her on the bed. She kept me going when I felt like I couldn't go on in my dramatic 8 year old life. After she got sick, I saw first hand how much it hurt her to not be able to do things for her daughters that I know she wanted to. Later it killed me to see how hard it was for her. I prayed and prayed for her to be happy even if that meant that she would be separated from us here in mortality. I thank God right now that she is finally free from the confines of a body that would not allow any length of freedom to do what she wanted. Its extremely hard to know that she is gone... I don't think any wound would compare to that of losing a mother. There is no one that can take that place in your heart. But I am more grateful now than I have ever been that we are sealed together as a family and I know we will be together forever. I thank God for temples on Earth that make such an amazing blessing possible. I pray that I will always be striving for the best so that I can be worthy enough to stand by her at the end of my days.
Overall, I am so blessed to have had such an amazing woman for a mother. I feel incredibly lucky and grateful. Though it hurts to know she is gone, I cannot help but thank God for his mercy and love for her and her joy now.