So these last few weeks have been the most gigantic emotional roller coaster. Right when I feel like things are getting stable, BAM! its all crazy again. Oh the joys of life.
I got through the busiest part of the semester which were the last two weeks and I only have a month or a little bit less left. Thank goodness.
So last week I was having issues with my heart feeling like it was skipping a beat or something and i'd get dizzy and have to sit down and catch my breath. It happened a few times and I was a bit worried. After talkin to my roommates and a couple sisters they suggested going to the doctor. So I went to the doctor today and he was really nice... he said that it was probably psychological though. I figured that was a possibility but I wanted to be sure. He offered to do some tests but said it was probably not neccessary because my heart rate and oxygen intake and lungs sounded fine so I figure till I actually pass out, ill just try and deal with my psychological issues. So hopefully its nothing more serious than my mind telling me I'm messed up. lol. Man, I hate being so emotional. But life will go on and eventually it will be better. Till then its just getting through.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Goodbye
Almost everyone who reads this would know already know that my mom passed away on Sunday. So here I sit, trying to sort through the tangle of emotions. I love my mom so much. She is an example of the greatest strength and testimony. She was always so strong and caring and always wanted to help everyone in any way she could up till the end. She could even have that sense of humor she was known for even through the hardest times. I could barley get through a couple minutes talking with her without her laughing so hard she was crying. I always felt special around her like that... like I'm actually funny. :) She was full of interesting advice but as I have gotten older, I have realized the truthfulness of some of the things she used to tell me. One thing she told me was that when you get angry, you only see red. Her words come to mind all the time and have become so much a part of me, I don't remember at the time that they came from her. During some of my hardest times she was my best friend. When I'd come home crying from school every other day in third grade, she would listen to me and talk with me for hours as I laid next to her on the bed. She kept me going when I felt like I couldn't go on in my dramatic 8 year old life. After she got sick, I saw first hand how much it hurt her to not be able to do things for her daughters that I know she wanted to. Later it killed me to see how hard it was for her. I prayed and prayed for her to be happy even if that meant that she would be separated from us here in mortality. I thank God right now that she is finally free from the confines of a body that would not allow any length of freedom to do what she wanted. Its extremely hard to know that she is gone... I don't think any wound would compare to that of losing a mother. There is no one that can take that place in your heart. But I am more grateful now than I have ever been that we are sealed together as a family and I know we will be together forever. I thank God for temples on Earth that make such an amazing blessing possible. I pray that I will always be striving for the best so that I can be worthy enough to stand by her at the end of my days.
Overall, I am so blessed to have had such an amazing woman for a mother. I feel incredibly lucky and grateful. Though it hurts to know she is gone, I cannot help but thank God for his mercy and love for her and her joy now.
Overall, I am so blessed to have had such an amazing woman for a mother. I feel incredibly lucky and grateful. Though it hurts to know she is gone, I cannot help but thank God for his mercy and love for her and her joy now.
Monday, April 27, 2009
School at last.... uh oh
So at long last, I have come back to school. This is exciting for me in that I am hoping time will go by much faster. The downside? I have to wake up at 7:00 every morning except saturdays... I know I'm a whiner, but I love sleeping in. Its something I treasure quite a bit and I tend to stay up late so 5 hours of sleep each night makes mornings quite difficult for me.
Anywho, for this semester I have 19 credits again and for four of my classes, looooooots of reading is required. I don't mind too much though because I don't have massive loads of homework... I just have to struggle to keep myself awake while reading over 200 pages of psychology stuff each week...or more. I tend to doze off after the 10th page or so, which proves to be problematic in the reading process. But I'm glad I'm doing it all now. I'm hoping that by doing this, next semester will be quite a bit more relaxed and I can enjoy my last semester a bit more.
This semster I get to take all sorts of fun classes like Research Methods and History and Systems of Psychology. I bet the sounds of that just makes you exude with jealousy. Don't worry, its not as terribly exciting as it sounds. But I am also taking Intro to Social Work, more Spanish, Motivation and Emotion, and Prep for Eternal Marriage (no i'm not engaged or anything).
I'm back with my Chinese roommates this semester (there are only 3 of them left) and one roommate who is Mong. I didn't know what Mong was till I ask her. If you'd like to know, you can ask. I'll just tell you its not Mongolian. So needless to say, I'm looking forward to a delicious Asian food filled semester. Yahoo!
Not many new interesting t hings except for those of you who don't know, I will be going to Peru this summer when school gets out for two weeks. So thats exciting. If anyone has any advice for traveling to South American countries (vaccinations I should get, foods to avoid, etc) I'd love to hear it :D
I love being back in Idaho where food is much cheaper. Chili is less than a dollar here! In Jackson its like $1.50 so I'm pretty excited. I have enough pancake mix to last me the whole semester for only $7.00!!! Its magical...really... Now I just need to find a lunch food that I can get for that much! *sigh* if only...
Thats about it for now though... :D
Anywho, for this semester I have 19 credits again and for four of my classes, looooooots of reading is required. I don't mind too much though because I don't have massive loads of homework... I just have to struggle to keep myself awake while reading over 200 pages of psychology stuff each week...or more. I tend to doze off after the 10th page or so, which proves to be problematic in the reading process. But I'm glad I'm doing it all now. I'm hoping that by doing this, next semester will be quite a bit more relaxed and I can enjoy my last semester a bit more.
This semster I get to take all sorts of fun classes like Research Methods and History and Systems of Psychology. I bet the sounds of that just makes you exude with jealousy. Don't worry, its not as terribly exciting as it sounds. But I am also taking Intro to Social Work, more Spanish, Motivation and Emotion, and Prep for Eternal Marriage (no i'm not engaged or anything).
I'm back with my Chinese roommates this semester (there are only 3 of them left) and one roommate who is Mong. I didn't know what Mong was till I ask her. If you'd like to know, you can ask. I'll just tell you its not Mongolian. So needless to say, I'm looking forward to a delicious Asian food filled semester. Yahoo!
Not many new interesting t hings except for those of you who don't know, I will be going to Peru this summer when school gets out for two weeks. So thats exciting. If anyone has any advice for traveling to South American countries (vaccinations I should get, foods to avoid, etc) I'd love to hear it :D
I love being back in Idaho where food is much cheaper. Chili is less than a dollar here! In Jackson its like $1.50 so I'm pretty excited. I have enough pancake mix to last me the whole semester for only $7.00!!! Its magical...really... Now I just need to find a lunch food that I can get for that much! *sigh* if only...
Thats about it for now though... :D
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I'm not depressed, don't worry :D
Well it seems its about time that I get around to updating this said bloggy thingy. I'm not sure where to start so I'll start with some random thoughts I've been thinking of this last week.
1) I can't figure out why my washing machine would have a setting for small loads, large loads and super loads... and then NOT have one for medium loads... It just doesnt seem to make sense to me...
2) there are things in my store that make me giggle that aren't really supposed to be funny... theres a stuffed bear that looks like Popeye, a rug with a bear on it that looks like it has spikes on its back so I call it Dino-bear and a moose key chain that when you squeeze it, it sounds like a dinosaur...really it does! If anyone is curious, I can post pictures of these things, though others might not find them as funny as I do.
3) I really need a haircut
4) I really don't wanna come back here next winter but I don't really know whats going to happen so I guess I should prepare for anything...including living in Jackson *gulp* once again...
So I'm in my final weeks of Jackson living yet another time. I believe I started this blog around this time last year. This last week has been torture for me though. All the wonderful people I met here have long since left and last Sunday I had to say goodbye once again to Rodolfo whom I love extremely lots and lots... And I am left here. I feel rather alone and disheartened but I'm trying very hard to keep my mood up and get through these last weeks till I can return to school and get myself busy and around friends and family once again. I leave here the 17th which can't come soon enough. These last couple months (man, its been a long time since I updated) have been rather uneventful in the things to write about. I spent them making the most of the time I had here with Rodo and working my butt off to pay for all those lovely necesities in life which cost oh so much such as...food...and housing...
I have the apartment all to myself now... for some that may be good but its really lonely for me. Before the last girl left (a few days ago), I barely saw her anyways, but it was just coming home and knowing there is someone else here made me not feel lonely. Now I come home and I have to immediately distract myself as to forget that I'm all alone.
No one needs to worry about me, I'm adjusting and working hard to keep a more positive outlook or at least just look forward to a couple weeks from now. :D
One (probably the only) semi-interesting thing is that I learned how to count to 10 in Romanian, compliments of my two new co-workers who are quite lovely and funny. I suppose thats it for now though. Sorry if this was a bit depressing... the last couple months were really good though! (besides the being sick of working here part, lol)
1) I can't figure out why my washing machine would have a setting for small loads, large loads and super loads... and then NOT have one for medium loads... It just doesnt seem to make sense to me...
2) there are things in my store that make me giggle that aren't really supposed to be funny... theres a stuffed bear that looks like Popeye, a rug with a bear on it that looks like it has spikes on its back so I call it Dino-bear and a moose key chain that when you squeeze it, it sounds like a dinosaur...really it does! If anyone is curious, I can post pictures of these things, though others might not find them as funny as I do.
3) I really need a haircut
4) I really don't wanna come back here next winter but I don't really know whats going to happen so I guess I should prepare for anything...including living in Jackson *gulp* once again...
So I'm in my final weeks of Jackson living yet another time. I believe I started this blog around this time last year. This last week has been torture for me though. All the wonderful people I met here have long since left and last Sunday I had to say goodbye once again to Rodolfo whom I love extremely lots and lots... And I am left here. I feel rather alone and disheartened but I'm trying very hard to keep my mood up and get through these last weeks till I can return to school and get myself busy and around friends and family once again. I leave here the 17th which can't come soon enough. These last couple months (man, its been a long time since I updated) have been rather uneventful in the things to write about. I spent them making the most of the time I had here with Rodo and working my butt off to pay for all those lovely necesities in life which cost oh so much such as...food...and housing...
I have the apartment all to myself now... for some that may be good but its really lonely for me. Before the last girl left (a few days ago), I barely saw her anyways, but it was just coming home and knowing there is someone else here made me not feel lonely. Now I come home and I have to immediately distract myself as to forget that I'm all alone.
No one needs to worry about me, I'm adjusting and working hard to keep a more positive outlook or at least just look forward to a couple weeks from now. :D
One (probably the only) semi-interesting thing is that I learned how to count to 10 in Romanian, compliments of my two new co-workers who are quite lovely and funny. I suppose thats it for now though. Sorry if this was a bit depressing... the last couple months were really good though! (besides the being sick of working here part, lol)
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I'm not dead...yet
I haven't felt that burning desire to update my blog and tell all about whats been going on with me because... frankly not much has been goin on. Its pretty much just work and not even 40 hours a week lately. Actually its been pretty pathetic with work hours this season. Thank goodness for tax returns.
Another reason why I haven't updated is because Dell sucks. Thats right... it sucks. My lovely Lappy (my laptop) that is about exactly one year old broke for the fourth/fifth time since I got it...and Dell... being the helpful company that it is, will only do one thing for me. They tell me to send it in, they will fix it, and it will work again for four months till it breaks and I must do the same thing... but this time, for an added bonus to their already wonderful customer service, they decided after I sent it in (from my address in Jackson) to send it back to my OLD address when I was living with Brad and Eleasha this summer. On top of that, it took about 20 phone calls to rather unhelpful Dell people and about 3 hours of being on hold to finally get someone 3 weeks after I sent my laptop in, to figure out a way to get it back to me. Ugh... so hopefully it will be here tomorrow or Tuesday.
Anyone wanna buy a laptop? :D
Oh yeah, and I went to the chiropracter a few days ago because my back was KILLING me and it was making my chest hurt a heck of a lot. Thankfully I think its much better but I'm going to go back in a couple days to make sure nothing else is wrong. I gotta work on my posture. I must admit I have terrible posture... stupid habits.
Another reason why I haven't updated is because Dell sucks. Thats right... it sucks. My lovely Lappy (my laptop) that is about exactly one year old broke for the fourth/fifth time since I got it...and Dell... being the helpful company that it is, will only do one thing for me. They tell me to send it in, they will fix it, and it will work again for four months till it breaks and I must do the same thing... but this time, for an added bonus to their already wonderful customer service, they decided after I sent it in (from my address in Jackson) to send it back to my OLD address when I was living with Brad and Eleasha this summer. On top of that, it took about 20 phone calls to rather unhelpful Dell people and about 3 hours of being on hold to finally get someone 3 weeks after I sent my laptop in, to figure out a way to get it back to me. Ugh... so hopefully it will be here tomorrow or Tuesday.
Anyone wanna buy a laptop? :D
Oh yeah, and I went to the chiropracter a few days ago because my back was KILLING me and it was making my chest hurt a heck of a lot. Thankfully I think its much better but I'm going to go back in a couple days to make sure nothing else is wrong. I gotta work on my posture. I must admit I have terrible posture... stupid habits.
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